If Kevin Durant Was A Dolphin…

Yesterday Ethan and I published our most recent meme commentary regarding why and how Chris Bosh has come to be known as a “soft” player to ESPN.com’s Heat Index. We cataloged the somewhat arbitrary reasons players receive “soft” label, one of which is “smiling too much.” Smiling reveals a player’s marshmallow center because if he really cared, if he was truly prepared to destroy, eviscerate, or kill his opponents, he’d wipe that look off his face.

This smiling thread got Ethan going on Kevin Durant’s endearing grin:

“Embarrassing Note No. 47: Kevin Durant smiles like a frolicking dolphin. I want to swim with him, my heart is an ocean.”

You may know that our meme posts are typically accompanied by ludicrous pictures, but ESPN.com’s format doesn’t allow such visuals. However Ethan’s line is so whimsically ridiculous, we wanted to share the following image:

Image by Anthony Bain

Thanks to Anthony Bain, our new illustrator, for his hilarious, borderline-creepy Durant-dolphin hybrid.

@BeckleyMason

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BTW, Bosh shoots almost NO close shots (7-12 ft, I think). That means both he AND Bron are in a race to develop back to the basket post games!!! BTW2 - watching the summer video of Hakeem tutoring Dwight Howard was TERRIFYING. Even though the Heat won by a LOT in their last game, it was a B2B for the Magic and Howard showed unprecedented fluidity and decicive speed in attacking the post in the 1st half. It's crazy, but any big man with good footspeed could learn sooo much from Hakeem. BTW3 - how deeply embarrassing must it be that three days with the Dream in his home gym transformed Howard's game in a way that YEARS with Patrick Ewing did not? Will we FINALLY stop hearing Ewing complain about not getting interviews for head coaching jobs? The guy must be like Miss South Carolina out there...

Here's a meme I'd like you guys to look at - the guy who has to rest on D so he can carry the offense. Two years ago, Lebron's Cavs were monsters and a lot of it was because Lebron had just come back from the Olympics fresh from playing hard-nosed D all game long. And he did this in the regular season. He became a genuine 2-way monster. But when the playoffs rolled around, the Cavs lost to the Magic largely because they couldn't stop Rashard Lewis from getting open looks. This blew my mind because Lebron could have EASILY smothered Lewis, just like the Cavs did on a yearly basis to Ray Allen. But instead, they put him on the SG (Pietrus), presumably because Mike Brown thought making Lebron take over on every trip with Dwight Howard waiting in the paint was a good use of his energy. It didn't help that in the week the Cavs had off before that series, Big Z managed to develop a rusty jumper that ruined the anti-Dwight pick n pop, but I STILL think it was a HUGE blunder to put Lebron on Pietrus when Lewis needed to be put in the Angry-Lebron wood-chipper. Was it because Mike Brown is a colossal idiot at adjusting failing game-plans, or did that offense (and Lebron's defense assignment) emerge because Z put himself out to pasture (didn't find his rhythm shot til game 4 when he'd been warm/hot all playoffs) and Mo just didn't show up? No doubt Lebron's offense and overall production was incredible, but every time Lewis hit a 3, I was screaming "Lebron should be smothering that man!!!" Anyway, that was a lot of venting (it was a horrible, soul-crushing series to watch), but the "resting stars on D" was something Bosh brought up in 2008, specifically in how people were going to be surprised at how he played on Team USA because he was going to devote more energy to D because Coach K wasn't going to have him shoulder much scoring burden. I suspect that Bosh has a LOT of D potential, especially as a help defender, rebounder, and shot-changer, but playing the balanced role (like George Costanza in Seinfeld) is always the hardest to get right, so I expect a lot more from him in the future. More excited about Bron-Bosh PnR/PnP than Bron-Wade stuff, really. Wade's unstoppably fast and incredible, but I haven't seen him methodically tear it up. When he loses a step in the next couple of years, I hope he doesn't decline much. there will likely come a time when it's Lebron-Bosh with as much Wade as his health provides.

Wow, that is so awesome and disturbing at the same time. Keep up the great work guys! I love your "meme" series.

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  1. [...] If Kevin Durant was a dolphin. [...]

  2. [...] A while ago, Anthony Bain gave us an incredible, and perhaps a little haunting, image of Kevin Durant as a Dolphin. [...]

  3. [...] A while ago, Anthony Bain gave us an incredible, and perhaps a little haunting, image of Kevin Durant as a Dolphin. [...]

  4. [...] by Ethan Sherwood Strauss’ imagery of Kevin Durant’s smile, I created this image. What could be more pleasant than listening to [...]

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