This game totally cheats for you

People like to hype up the dumbest things.

It’s always a “big deal” when an NBA player goes to the Drew League, Goodman League, Rucker Park, Dyckman etc. and drops a large total of scoring statistics on his opponents. It’s like it’s a complete shock when Brandon Jennings or James Harden or Kobe Bryant or Kevin Ollie goes to play streetball against a bunch of amateurs (sometimes glorified amateurs who just never got a real chance except for the time in high school when they totally could have earned a scholarship to college) and dominates the game.

These are professional basketball players in the greatest league this world has to offer. Their nightly competition from an ability and strategic standpoint can’t be matched. That’s not to say that these streetball players and semi-pros aren’t good competition. Some of these guys can really play on an elite level, and have the ability to challenge the world’s best for short, selective stretches. However, to compete mentally and physically with the Navy SEALS of the basketball in a proverbial basketball knife fight just seems like a losing battle for the common streetballer.

So when I hear that Kevin Durant went to Rucker Park and dropped 66 points on the unsuspecting crowd and opponents, it’s pretty hard for me to go nuts over it. He’s arguably the best scorer in the world. He torched the grounds of international basketball in Turkey this past summer. He led his team to the Western Conference Finals and averaged 28 points per game against one of the best and most sophisticated team defensive systems the league has seen in a long time. It’s great that Durant lit up some guys that would never get a second look by NBA scouts but it doesn’t mean…

HOLY GUANO! DID YOU SEE THAT?!

Some people would be yelling that Durant was in video game mode last night, but that’s an incorrect assessment. Video games give you a system of checks, trends, and equalizers in how players shoot. It’s almost impossible to make five straight baskets in a video game these days because they weight the odds against you. Durant just took on double teams for five straight possessions and ended them with long 3-point makes. You can’t really do that in a digital and pixelated realm of existence, let alone one comprised of flesh, blood, and bones. It would take some serious Game Shark-Game Genie splicing to create a level of artificial intelligence and self-awareness that would cause Skynet to take a step back and wonder if we’ve gone too far.

Forget video game mode. That’s serial killer mode. That’s some Dexter-level villainy. He was killing in a similar way, but each time getting more and more graphic and extravagant in the way he killed his victims and then gratified himself sexually over the bodies. He got sloppy with each one, leaving evidence at the scene. It was like he wanted to get caught. He wanted to even the playing ground between him and the detectives working hard to stop this trend of bodies he was leaving all over Harlem.

The scary thing is they never caught him. He’s still out there. He’s lurking around the perimeter, waiting to enter your domicile and kill again.

Twitter: @talkhoops

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