Virility in its singular form

“I wonder what it is about dunks. Why did I yell really, really [expletive] loud when that happened? It was involuntary, too.” – Ethan Sherwood Strauss

“It’s a sexual feeling. It’s primitive and virile. It’s not sex sexual. But it’s an explosion of emotions and feelings.” – Me

“I would agree. It’s sort of a metaphor for human sacrifice, which is awesome.” – ESS

Why do we love these dunks so much? Is Ethan right when he says it’s a human sacrifice? Offer up this poorly rotating from the weak side soul to the eyes of the masses. They will revel in his public destruction, like sacrificing a helpless animal in the hopes of a bountiful harvest next spring.

This dunk doesn’t make Blake Griffin a better player in the refractory stages of such a moment. He didn’t all of a sudden get better because he decided to give birth to Kendrick Perkins’ demise. And Kendrick Perkins being a step too slow doesn’t make him less of a defender. He’s helped anchor a title win before. We can often give too much thought to these eruptions of splendor.

People are already ranking their top dunks ever. They’re discounting this one and praising the feats of higher jumping genetic cyborgs. They’re comparing and contrasting. They’re spitting into the face of this moment and trying to find a way to show how many dunks they’ve seen and remember. And that’s all fine. It’s okay to try to keep things in perspective once we’ve calmed down a bit from our paroxysm of validated anticipation.

Me personally? I just want to enjoy the moment. I was left speechless for the better part of an hour after Blake Griffin sparked the eulogizing of Kendrick Perkins’ manhood. That’s not exactly a good thing when you’re running an Internet chat for the World Wide Leader. I had nothing to say. Blake dunked and it shook my comprehension. I didn’t want to try to think about it. I didn’t care if the Thunder cut the lead, took the lead or won the title in that moment.

All I wanted to do was rewind my DVR over and over again. All I wanted to do was make jokes on Twitter. I wanted to be one of dozens of people posting the video on YouTube and giggling to myself about what I just saw. Words didn’t exist anymore and none of us needed them. Our silence was the most deafening and prophetic way we could discuss the highlight with each other in the DDL. The majority of us just kept trying to find the words to say what we all were trying to express.

It’s not that time stopped or anything. The game kept going and it saw a couple of peaks and valleys for both teams. No, time didn’t stop at all; it just simply didn’t matter anymore.

The moment could only be described as lobotomous. The dunk gave the rest of the DDL and myself a full-on lobotomy.

Monday night, Blake Griffin turned back the clock thousands of years, when people were offering up human sacrifices for the good of the land. It wasn’t the greatest thing I’ve ever seen because I wouldn’t even know where to begin to compare it. All I know is that singular moment was really [expletive] fun.

Well… for some of us at least…


(Photo from @jphanned)

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